Devotion
by agoodlook
Summary: The intricacies of Tony and Effy's relationship as well as the consequences of their reliance on the each other. *Reposted*
1. Chapter 1

Devotion

Disclaimer: I do not own Skins.

"Sometimes I think you're the only person in the whole world Tony truly cares about."

Not really, Effy thought, but she was the only one who really knew him. Effy pitied Michelle, so blindly in love with someone who she really didn't know at all.

Michelle had filled her in on the drama her brother had instigated, how he had played Michelle for a fool by cheating in front of her with their friend Maxxie, taking advantage of his friend's drunken turmoil to seduce him. How now their circle of friends had never even guessed how manipulative Tony could be and in retaliation for the cruel games he had played on them had rejected him.

Effy had guessed as much. Her brother had been uncharacteristically available in the last couple of days. She'd figured that he was in the midst of a mess of his own making. It was inevitable that one of his countless schemes would blow up in his face. Blame it on random chance, if you will. He had held the strings his puppets for so long it was only natural they'd become entangled and twist out of his hands sooner or later.

He hadn't spoke of it to her but that was okay. That meant he hadn't given up yet, that he still had a plan to regain all that he had lost.

Or was it the other way around?

As far as his friends were concerned, Effy knew the gang would be flock back to her brother eventually. What else were they going to do? Tony might have been a right areshole to them but say what you want, he was a fun arsehole. Besides, no one has a shorter memory than pill-popping, pot-smoking teenagers.

Effy knew they wouldn't be able to help it after dancing to her brother's tune for so long, the void of his presence would leave them blind, stumbling and helpless.

But what would their absence do to Tony? She worried. Michelle mistaking the frown of concern that marred Effy's porcelin features for dismay over her brother's actions, leaned closer, eager for an explanation Effy could not give.

"Why'd he do it Effy?" Michelle pleaded, "Do you know?"

Effy shook her head in denial, though it wasn't in answer to Michelle's question. She knew why Tony had done what he had done. Because the idiot didn't know that he loves you. Because he didn't know that when you love someone trying to control the game only leaves two losers trying to find a loophole that will get them back on the board. And now that Tony knows he's afraid to even look for a way.

It still surprised her sometimes, that she could see so easily into people's hearts, the secret desires of those around her as though they penned them to her brain like it were their own hidden diaries. It had always been that way for her. Even now she could see the yearning mingled with disappointment on Michelle's face that if her brother actually made a real effort with the girl, she would take him back in a second if she could only figure out who it was she would be getting.

Maybe Michelle knew her brother more than she thought.

Effy found him in his room, lying on his back his arm thrown across his eyes. She knelt on the bed next to his head and waited.

"What do you want?" Tony asked, his voice harsh despite his low tone. She ignored the anger in his voice, it wasn't directed at her, and kept waiting.

After a couple minutes Tony pulled his arm from eyes so he could glare at her. He held her gaze for a few moments and then sighed, rolling on his side to face the window, "It's none of your business Effy. Leave it alone."

Effy ignored the command and instead crawled further onto the bed, scooting up a little so that she could cradle his head to her chest as she spooned her body to his. Stroking his hair, she felt the tension in her brother slowly begin to melt away. When they're breaths were in sync he spoke.

"You saw Michelle today, didn't you? Tony asked nodded and kept stroking Tony's hair.

"She won't answer my calls." A laugh chokes in the back of her brother's throat, "No one's answering my calls. Guess they've had enough of me, now that they've seen what I am."

The pain in his voice stills Effy's fingers, at the same moment Tony turns to face her. His eyes, sapphire shaded to unfathomable depths, lost and drowning searched hers for answers he, in all his cleverness could not see.

For as long as she could remember, she had been able to glean clues from the slightest of details. A pause in a sentence, a change in pitch, the weight of the unspoken. She had become so full with the unsaid she had forgotten how to speak of things that needed to said. And even if she did, did it matter when no one listened?

Tony, her brother, her other half, he understood. He too saw the weaknesses people tried to hide, the lies they told to themselves and to the world, in hope of escape the burden of their inadequacies. While she had retreated into silence in defeat, preferring to remain outside it, her brother had thrown himself in to the center of it. Tony had made a game at exposing the true natures of those around him in contempt of the lie, cultivating another self that could deal the harsh truths so many ran away from.

The more she had surrendered to silence, the more he acted out in defiance, drawn deeper into the masquerade until he had forgotten the reason he had put on his mask in the first place.

But Effy remembered and she loved him for it.

Closing her eyes, Effy takes Tony's hand, first bringing it to her lips and then placing it on her breast. Effy presses her body to his and feels their hearts beat in time with each other.

With her heart, she speaks:

They don't know you, not like I do. I know the difference between the facade and the truth. Some say the truth is ugly, some say it's cruel. It may be, but if they looked on the other side they would see its beautiful.

You're beautiful.

When she opens her eyes she tells him this.

And when Tony moves his hand from her chest to her pull her closer as the other twists in her hair as his lips finds hers, desperate and hungry, she feels his heart beat hard against hers in heartbreaking gratitude. Effy wraps her arms around Tony's neck and yields to him as she always has, happy and safe in the knowledge that no matter how small her voice, there will alway be one person who hears her.

In each other's arms is a world that is beautiful.


	2. Author's Note

To my Reviewers:

First off, a huge thank you for your feedback. I have been dying to reply to all of you but not having a computer has made that impossible up till now. I will be posting the next chapter in a couple weeks if any of you are still interested. Also for some reason I can only see reviews through my email so if you would like to say anything, I can be reached at missyeli_. Just a fair warning, I work a lot and have to go to the library to check my email, so it may take me a while to see any messages but I promise I will respond…eventually. Again thank you to everyone who reviewed or even just read my story, I love you guys! ^_^

Hugs

agoodlook


End file.
